Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself that it seems I have two people controlling me, one logical person who thinks ahead and makes a plan to get things done on time so I don't get stressed (aka smart Sarah) and another who controls my physical being and disregards anything that smart Sarah for instant gratification (aka no impulse control Sarah).
I wasn't always like this. Freshman year, for example, I would finish every paper two weeks in advance and write about one hundred flashcards to memorize for every Bio test. I would watch TV if I had time left over.
Since then, my work ethic has only gone downhill.
Last year in particular it was at an all time low. So low that I wouldn't start anything until the day before and turned in 90% of my papers with an extension. But I would always get everything done. I would always finish all the physics worksheets before a quiz and make flashcards for every history test.
This year I somehow have much more work but my work ethic has become worse (with the occasional burst of productivity). It really annoys me because I know what I need to do, and I have everything planned out so if I follow the plan I can just finish everything I need. But no impulse control Sarah has other ideas (such as watching Shameless until 5am or getting home at 9 after swim practice and watching four hours of American Horror Story until I crash).
I would like to directly call myself out and ask why do I do this to myself.
The less I follow the plan, the more stressed I get, and as a result I get in a stress lock and just fall asleep. And I know this when I'm three episodes in and haven't studied anything, one voice screams "DO YOUR WORK" while the other is like, "ehhhhhhhhh." (This is especially happening right now because I've been procrastinating on studying for my psychology midterm tomorrow (RIP me).
So wish me luck cause I'm gonna need it.
Yeah I often wonder how you manage to live and not fail out of school because you always talk about watching shows and stuff. Proud of you for calling yourself out.
ReplyDeleteWow... this is me. I too tell myself that I will do this assignment this day and start this essay early but then I'm like, "nah, you'll be fine." I've even gotten to the point where I don't stress easy. Like, I'll have a ton of work to finish and I tell myself it'll all be fine. Somehow, I manage to get everything done even with the large amount of procrastinating that I do. I hope your midterm went ok!
ReplyDeleteI also relate to putting off your work and doing other irrelevant stuff, but luckily I can usually stop myself in time to actually do what I need to do. Happy to hear that you're working on being a better time manager!
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